Mother-In-Law Demands Daughter-In-Law Pay For The Gift She Bought For Her

Author image for Emmy Pratt
Emmy Pratt • Senior Editor
Aug 27, 2023 7:00 PM EDT

I'm a big gift-giver, and I think that a lot of people don't understand the thought process behind why good gifters are the way we are. Even when I had very little spending money when I was in high school, I would spend whatever I had to to get the perfect Christmas gifts for my friends, family, and teachers. I got a mini-cardboard cutout of Michael Bublé just because I knew my Calculus teacher would love it. Gift-giving shouldn't be about spending a certain amount of money on somebody that is socially acceptable for your relationship. It should be about finding a gift that is so perfect for that person that it utterly makes their day, and ultimately, it doesn't matter how much it costs. 

One mother-in-law is making waves on Reddit for being the exact opposite of a good gift-giver. She's actually asking her daughter-in-law to partially pay for a gift that she got for her. Make that make sense. 

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  • 01
    Font - r/Amlthe u/MILcoffeemachine • 15h ● 01 1 AITA for not wanting to pay the extra money my MIL put for a gift I didn't ask for?
    via u/MILcoffeemachine
  • 02
    Font - My MIL bought me a new coffee machine. I don't why as the one I have is still working fine but whatever, I accepted. Before leaving, she told me I needed to pay her $30. I ask why and she said that she planned on putting only $50 in the gift but the cheapest coffee machine she could find was around $80 so I needed to put the $30 she added for the machine.
    via u/MILcoffeemachine
  • 03
    Font - That confused me because, if she planned on only putting a certain amount in the gift (that I, once again, didn't ask for) then why not give up the coffee machine idea and buy something that actually was $50? She said she didn't care about paying more if it made me happy, I said well clearly you do care otherwise you wouldn't ask me to pay the extra $30? She said it was just a matter of principle and that if I had manner I'd pay her. She then left.
    via u/MILcoffeemachine
  • 04
    Font - She later texted my husband that she was waiting on the $30 and would take back the coffee machine if I didn't. I told my husband to respond that she could come take it back cause I was not gonna give her the $30. My husband is not okay with that because he got "attached" to the machine, whatever that means, and to just give her the $30. I told my husband if he wanted to keep the machine then he should give his mom the money she wants.
    via u/MILcoffeemachine
  • 05
    Font - He said I needed to do it because the gift is originally mine, even though I never asked for it. He said I was making this harder than it need to be and was selfish to not pay the extra $30 for the coffee machine his mom got me, especially knowing that he likes it. I have a hard time seeing how I'm wrong so I'm coming here because there might be a chance that i AM in the wrong.
    via u/MILcoffeemachine
  • 06
    Font - Should I just give his mom the $30 like she asks and be done with it? 9799 2324 ↑ Share
    via u/MILcoffeemachine
  • 07
    Font - Ok-Classic8323 • 15h 1 Award ΝΤΑ Your MIL and Husband want you to pay for a gift you didn't want and didn't need. Don't pay her and tell her why. You didn't want a Coffee machine, your old one is fine and why should you pay for a gift you didn't want. Tell you husband the same. 15.4k
    via u/Ok-Classic8323
  • 08
    Font - IWouldBeGroot • 14h This feels like she's setting a precident. If OP pays the MIL, she'll likely get the same treatment again down the road. Go to a fancy restaurant with a $200 bill? MIL only wanted to pay $100. you'll have to pay the other $100. Good for you to stand up to her. ... 46.5k ↓
    via u/IWouldBeGroot
  • 09
    Rectangle - Cer Wienerwrld • 14h Partassipant [1] 4 Awards Right. MIL buys OP a gift that's really for the husband, and then expects OP to pay.... ... 5.7k
    via u/Wienerwrld
  • 10
    Handwriting - BowlerSea1569. 13h Even sneakier: pay the $30, ask for the receipt, return for refund, make $50. 746
    via u/BowlerSea1569
  • 11
    Font - Ok_Conversation9750 15h ficionado [17] 2 Awards NTA and wtf re: your MIL? MIL: "here's something you don't need. I need you to pay for it." OP: "no thanks" MIL: (clasps pearls) "the impertinence! have you no manners? Here I brought you something you have no need for, called it a gift, and then insisted you pay me for it, and you refuse??" OP's husband: "pay for it! I want it!" What kind of family did you marry into? 080 6.5k
    via u/Ok_Conversation9750
  • 12
    Font - Gullible_Tough • 14h This such a red flag, hope they don't have kids and she can nope right outta there. ... 41.3k
    via u/Gullible_Tough
  • 13
    Font - Crafty-Gardener • 15h Partassipant [2] So let me get this right. Your MIL was going to spend $50 on a gift for you, instead spent $80 on a coffee machine you neither asked for or wanted. MIL then wants back the $30 back because she decided to go over her budget. Husband likes coffee machine that was gifted to you, so wants YOU to pay back MIL for over spending.
    via u/Crafty-Gardener
  • 14
    Font - Now you're being called selfish for not paying back $30 your MIL decided to over spend on a gift you didn't want or ask for. Am I getting that right, what g planet are your MIL and husband on? Seriously if the money is that much of an issue and hubby wants the machine, then he needs to pay mommy back. NTA edit. you're 2.6k
    via u/Crafty-Gardener
  • 15
    Font - AJzio • 15h NTA and your MIL and husband are. Dude, you're attached to the machine? Give your mom the $30. Reading that whole story just gave me the ick. There is literally zero chance that you are in the wrong. And for all the reasons you said. I honestly can't even add anything else because you said it all. 41.2k ...
    via u/AJzio
  • 16
    Font - daisiesanddaffodils • 14h • Enthusiast [5] The whole story is indeed icky. And I have to wonder what else is at play, because honestly absent all the other details of the story, if my mom texted me that my husband owed her $30, I would just send her the $30 and go on my way. I might never even remember to ask my husband about it. What kind of strange dynamic is this where he can't pay $30 for his wife, let alone for something he wants a lot more than she does? ... 457
    via u/daisiesanddaffodils
  • 17
    Font - Icy Department_1423 15h Certified Proctologist [27] ● NTA. It is not a gift if the recipient has to pay for it, unless it was a situation discussed beforehand where the gifter is putting money toward a gift that the recipient wants but doesn't have the money for. 4374 ...
    via u/Icy_Department_1423
  • 18
    Font - SaltineSupernova • 15h ΝΤΑ Don't let these people gaslight you. Gifts don't come with strings attached. 168 ↓
    via u/SaltineSupernova

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ask reddit family drama aita gifts presents coffee machine wife gift reddit story husband coffee in laws mother in law subreddit reddit thread Reddit money
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